Jealousy, jealousy, jealousy.
What is it? A disease? A weakness? or Just plain human behavior?
We all posses the ability to feel jealous since we were little kid (remember how you were jealous because your best buddy got a new toy?) .Ahh, i remember all that moments.
We all going to face jealousy whether we like it or not. No matter what age,gender,race, and how strong you we are, we are all going to feel jealous at some points in our life(or multiple points).
Whether its that new Mercedes car your neighbour just bought (and how he keep polishing it daily in front of you), or that your buddy having a better job than you are, or as simple as your your cat having nap all day and you have to do a double job just to feed yourself,and that cat.
Jealousy and Relationship
Jealousy and relationship,are two best buddies. They co-exist together. If you have a relationship then you’ll definitely going to encounter jealousy along the way. Sorry,no running from this one.
What Makes People Jealous?
So,what is it that make us jealous,especially in a relationship? What are the factors that pull this jealousy trigger?
Lets have a look at it.
1. Jealous because theres another person involved
This the common reason to feel jealous in a relationship. When theres someone else getting near (or try to) to our partner. But what is it that made us jealous of this person? Some of the reasons could be:
- Because you see that person has something that you dont have(looks,mooney,wealth)
- And this will result into your own insecurity and the fear of your partner getting attracted to that person
Further reading on insecurities : Are You Having Insecurities in Your Relationship?
- You have a bad experiences and the fear of it happening again leads to jealousy
- Just simply plain jealousy
2. Jealous because of status and money
This usually happens when the woman makes more money than her man. Same thing with having a better job, or having a higher status and power than her partner. Man always feel the need to step to be the leader and be the provider. So he thinks that he is the one that should be having a greater salary,power and status. In other words, his partner is killing his ego.
But saying all that,it can happen the other way around too. A modern woman might feel jealous because she also wants to stand on her own feet. And not forget, women have ego too.
Why do we have to feel jealous in the first place?
Is it because we are insecure of our own feelings? Is it because we fear for the worst? Or is it because we seek attention from our partner? We all have our own reasons to feel jealous and knowing is half the battle.
Everything has its pros and cons but I believe that jealousy only leads to a lot of negative things. I mean, people kills because of jealousy. People even commit suicides because of jealousy. It plays your minds with dirty tricks. And it can lead you to do something that your not suppose to do.
On the flip side, jealousy can also send a positive signal to your lover. You’re jealous and its a way for you to say “I care about you, and want you for myself only. Thats why I’m behaving like this“
Jealousy vs Jealousy
Jealousy can also be use as a ‘weapon’. A lot of times we saw that when a person become jealous because his/her partner was out with someone, that person that try to do the same so that his/her partner would feel what that person felt.
And later on this only leads to a lot of fighting and misunderstandings. So I would advice not to do that-sometimes its not a good idea to go that far just to prove a point.
I leave you a couple of questions to ponder with:
- What are other reasons for us to feel jealous other than what I’ve listed above?
- Who do you think are more prone to jealousy nowadays, men or women?
Leave me your views using the comment section below.
*updated*
Check out the next part of this series : How to Handle Your Partner’s Jealousy and Your Own Jealousy
August 31st, 2009 → 5:15 pm @ AidilFS
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